Sometimes I wish I could teleport every now and then, to be lifted out of a particularly draining moment of monotony and placed into a different phase of life. Maybe if I spent a day or two as the elderly lady in the grocery store, telling young moms to “enjoy it because it goes so
If you’d like a quick lesson on the lunacy of Confederate monuments, you should explain them to kids. Pare it down as much as possible, don’t let your bias cloud the water. There was a war — the north versus the south. The south lost. These statues are to commemorate the soldiers that fought for the
I am always hesitant to write about current events. I go for it every now and then, but I do so tentatively, knowing that I (usually) don’t have any expertise to offer. Also because it’s easier for me to just sit inside the four walls of my quarantine and write about my vegetable garden and
On my very first night home with my first baby, I was more terrified than I had ever been in my life. Jump off a bridge? Sure! Scale a rock face? No problem! But leave me alone with this tiny, beautiful person? No thank you. I had a fistful of worksheets, clinging to the vague
NOTE: I wrote this a few days ago — a glib post about running during the quarantine. I wrote it before running was added to the list of things that are dangerous to do while black. I’ve been running since I was 14 years old. That’s 23 years of running on country roads, in the city, suburbs,
We celebrated two friends’ birthdays this week. They were both distant celebrations — gifts left in the driveway, and a drive-by “party.” My kids liked loved being a part of these celebrations, but they made the wheels start turning. “I’m glad my birthday is in the summer…” I heard someone say from the backseat on
After Anna’s speech therapy evaluation, the therapist told us that she would probably have a “language explosion” in the next few months. That was a little more than a month ago, and while I think we’re still waiting on the explosion, she’s definitely had a speech…spark. Her pronunciation is still her weakest area, but she’s
Anna calls David “DayDay.” She calls Mary “MayMay.” She calls Brigham “Ma,” and she knows the names of several neighborhood dogs. In an ultimate little sister power move, she doesn’t even attempt to say Thomas’s name. There are actually a lot of words Anna doesn’t attempt. She has a decent vocabulary, but she’s almost impossible
I’ve mentioned before that Thomas doesn’t know colors. Actually, let me rephrase. Thomas refuses to conform to the names society has given colors. Instead of using the names of the colors that you and I use, he came up with his own. For example, instead of red, green, blue, and yellow, Thomas would say David
A few weeks ago my family headed into worship at church. We found a row, empty except for a middle-aged couple at the end. We filed in and in short order, one-by-one, my children lost their minds. The couple was polite and friendly. We shared “kids will be kids” smiles as I corrected and redirected
This Christmas season has felt more hectic than any other I can remember. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I could do differently to remove some stress, and I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter what I do, it will be hectic. Of course, I’m the first to admit that I could use
When our cat was an adolescent — not a kitten, an adolescent. It’s an important distinction because kittens are adorable imps and adolescents are adorable jerks. So as I was saying, when our cat was an adolescent he spent all day being cute and all night demolishing our house. We were living in a house
Next fall Thomas will start kindergarten. This fall he is conducting experiments in our yard with the garden hose. One afternoon I was watering the garden and Thomas started digging in our mulch. I was using the hose attached to our irrigation, so he got the hose that’s attached to the front of our house
Yesterday Anna, my 22-month old, was throwing a tantrum. She threw herself onto the floor, curled her body over her knees with her forehead pressed to the carpet, and wailed. “Look!” Mary exclaimed. “Anna is doing a lockdown drill!” David and Mary laughed and laughed at the absurdity of a lockdown drill! At home! Ha!
A week after the big kids started back to school, Thomas started preschool. He didn’t want to hold his bag like I asked; he wanted to hold this plane instead. FOUR! What a difference a year makes. Thomas went to school wearing the same shirt David wore to the first grade, and hand-me-down Crocs with
One afternoon a few days before my birthday, David and I were riding bikes to the birthday party of one of his friends in the neighborhood. I was telling David that I enjoy riding bikes with him and he asked, “Is that why you asked to go for a bike ride with me for your
Our school district starts late — after nine — so we never have to wake them up and we don’t have to rush. The kids have plenty of time to play, eat breakfast, get dressed, and hold down a part-time job. As he does every morning, David curled up on the couch with a book.
Last weekend Tom’s grandmother’s neighborhood had a little carnival with a petting zoo, face painting, balloons, and vendors passing out plastic trinkets. Actually, “carnival” might be overstating the event. But since my kids haven’t really been to a true carnival, we’re sticking with it. Carnival or not, this sort of thing is a kid paradise,
When Anna had a broken wrist, every time we went anywhere, I’d notice people noticing her cast. A mom would casually walk over, say hello, and then ask, “What happened to her arm?” I tell the story and to their utter horror, it’s completely unsatisfying. Anna fell off a child-size chair onto a carpeted floor.
Often when I’m getting ready, Mary will wander into the bathroom to be with me. She asks if she can be fancy, too, so I lift her onto the vanity and hand her a makeup brush or lip gloss wand. She gazes into the mirror quietly, studying her reflection. The corners of her mouth lift
A few weeks ago, before spring break, I got an email from Mary’s teacher. Whenever Mary’s teacher writes us emails she does this thing where the subject line of the email is just the kid’s name. So every now and then I get an email, subject “Mary” and every single time I panic. My blood
My kids had a day off school for Good Friday and we planned to spend the day, among other things, dyeing Easter eggs, and using Sweet Frog coupons they got from school. Thursday night I looked at the weather and realized we were supposed to get rain, which was frustrating because I was planning to
My little Anna-bird with a broken wing. Ok, that was a little dramatic. Sorry. A more accurate description would be: my 16-month old (who has a penchant for climbing) with a buckle fracture. But that doesn’t have quite the same ring. When I posted a photo of Anna with a cast, several people said they hoped
Mary has been wanting to do the monkey bars at school. She never mentioned it to me, she kept it to herself. It was her own, personal, quiet goal. She had wanted to try, but she hadn’t tried yet. She hadn’t even climbed the ladder. There were plenty of very valid excuses — David broke his
What’s a little girl’s favorite part of a father-daughter dance? Gloating to her brothers that she’s going to a dance and they aren’t Fighting with Mommy about what makeup is appropriate for a 5-year old (Answer: no makeup. Be glad that you’re getting lip gloss. ) Having a special night with your daddy. We’ll never
Playing Santa is, without a doubt, one of the most fun gigs I’ve ever had. Shopping, wrapping, imagining the joy when they open the gift. It is all so very wonderful. Sometime in November, Tom’s mom, Peggy, called me from Costco. She was shopping, and there was one MaryEllen American Girl doll left. Should she
This summer Anna blew through baby clothes sizes so fast I could barely keep up. 6-9 months, 9-12 months, 12-18 months. “Hmmm, this can’t be right,” I thought when shimmying a pair of 2T leggings on my 11-month old baby. I kept a very weather-inappropriate fleece sleeper in Anna’s drawer all summer because I wanted
I’ve spent the last few weeks feeling a bit sad, a bit in disbelief. Soon my fourth baby will turn one, and then she won’t be a baby anymore. Perhaps it will surprise no one at all to find out that I’m feeling very, very sentimental about this milestone. This time last year I was
At time of publication, I’ve spent five and a half years of my life nursing a baby. Of course, that’s not five and a half years of non-stop nursing. But, yeah, actually. In a way, it is. Five and a half years! That’s longer than I was in college, longer than I’ve lived in any home
The calendar says it’s fall but it was 90 degrees outside today and my kids swam in the pool. It’s hot, humid, the leaves are all on the trees, but it does feel like fall in one very key way: we’ve been sick for the past five weeks. This is Thomas doing jumping jacks to
This morning one of my kids went to school wearing clothes that were mismatched, a tad too big and, frankly, tacky. But the clothes were in good condition and seasonally appropriate, so I’ll allow it. Several years ago I stopped apologizing for my kids’ clothes. “He dressed himself!” I’d explain, embarrassed by clothes that don’t
This summer will go down in history as the summer that Mary looked her fear in the eye, balled it up, and stomped on it. She became confident on her bike, is a completely independent swimmer, and went to summer camp all by herself. These are huge accomplishments for a little girl. Mary and I
One afternoon I was sitting on the dock while David played in the sandy area on the bank of the lake. Thomas was draping himself over my legs, doing that three-year old thing where he readjusts every two seconds or so, trying to get just a little closer to mama. David and Caleb were both
This past week Mary started summer camp — her first time ever doing something like this. (The first time any of my kids have done any sort of camp.) A few weeks before it started, she asked me, “Mommy, how long is camp?” I answered, “It’s just for a few weeks.” Mary looked down at her hands
On the first day of summer break we shared a big bowl of watermelon on the porch, then kids made a mud pit in the back yard while Anna and I sat on a blanket at a safe distance. When we got too hot and dirty, we all jumped in the pool. Before nap time,
Anna is six months old, and she is all chub and drool and baby smiles. She is delightful, cuddly, ticklish, and almost always happy. People stop me all the time to tell me she looks like the Gerber baby, a Cabbage Patch doll (I actually agree with that one), or to comment on her rolls
Mary Virginia doesn’t approve of my day-to-day look. T-shirt, ponytail, no makeup, usually un-showered. She’s kind about it, but she wouldn’t mind seeing me put a little more effort in my appearance. Maybe a clean shirt from time to time, a swipe of lip gloss wouldn’t kill me. It’s fine, I don’t pick anything that
Last month we took Mary Virginia to kindergarten registration. Everyone told me that the second kid would be easier, but it was exactly like last year with David. I was just as emotional, just as uneasy, just as feeling like I was holding my baby over a cliff (dangling her above the outstretched arms of
I told myself I’d never straighten her hair, but today she needed some Mama time. I did her hair and listened as she talked about Pound Puppies, and I told her about my girlfriends in college who used to straighten and curl my hair. When I lifted her onto the counter, I didn’t notice that my compact
I’m still pretty new to motherhood — I’ve only been doing this for six and a half years — so most of what I know involves pregnancy, babies, and little kids. So far, my current phase (four kids including one infant and one kindergartener) has been the most demanding. If my life was a sporting
David has a habit of picking dandelions for me. He finds them everywhere, on the walk home from the bus stop, in our yard, poking through cracks in sidewalks. He’s done it for years, at least since he was three, right around the time I told him yellow was my favorite color. I never keep
David is learning about solids and liquids at school, so on a recent snow day I decided to mix up some cornstarch and water. I remember loving this as a kid, and as I mixed it up for my kids, it was equally fascinating. Is it a solid? Is it a liquid? IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO
In Anna’s 4-month update I compared a baby sleep regression to spring weather. Since I am living through both barbaric phases right now, I keep revisiting the comparison. February was mild, warm, and felt like spring. In February I ordered my girls Easter outfits — both sleeveless and light. But March has been windy, cold,
Even though I still feel like Anna was born yesterday, or maybe even five minutes ago, this month she has transformed. She is no longer my sweet, cuddly newborn, but a babbling baby that chews on her fingers and trills when she smiles. So many of the parts of the newborn stage that were so,
After Anna was born, Tom took about two weeks off to help me at home. On his very first full day back to work, my first day alone with four kids, he had a meeting in Raleigh, which meant he had an unusually long day. I also had a long day. It was my first
I’m slowly coming out of the general malaise of pregnancy and newborn exhaustion. With that, I’m doing everything I can to run a tighter ship at home, and reverse some bad (lazy) habits we’ve fallen into. No, my kids are not wearing matching clothes. Yes, the pumpkins I put on the porch back in October
Last week my mom came for a long visit. She planned to help get David to and from the bus stop, cook lots of delicious food, and spend a lot, lot of time holding her grandbaby. It also happened to be her birthday, so we hung decorations, made cards, and baked her a very mediocre
It started at my very first prenatal appointment. “Do you have any questions?” my doctor asked. “I don’t think so?” I replied. “I guess after your fourth baby you kind of know the drill!” she replied. When you have your fourth baby, everyone assumes the whole shebang is business as usual. You’re on a path
Since Anna was born my exercise routine has been simple: round-the-clock breastfeeding, and hauling Thomas off high structures. Four pregnancies in six years has changed my schedule, my priorities, and my body. Right now I don’t have room in my life for much more than taking care of my kids and keeping track of who’s
Before Anna was born, I planned our Christmas card — a combo birth announcement/Christmas card with four kids in matching pajamas. Tom’s going to read that, wrinkle his forehead, and say, “You said you don’t have the brainpower to make a grocery list. But you’ve been strategizing our Christmas card for two months?” Yes, Tom,