A quick explanation to Thomas’s fan club

Last Saturday I cut Thomas’s hair.

The night after The Haircut, we were all sharing our rose and thorn at the dinner table, Thomas’s thorn* was his hair cut. And the next day, he put his hand on his hair and said, “Mommy my hair is still cut, right?” And on Thanksgiving day, when everyone was sharing what they were thankful for, Thomas said his haircut.

*Note: Thomas mixes up rose and thorn. So, for example, he’ll say his rose was when Grammy left and his thorn was getting a treat after dinner. It’s hilarious every time and we will never correct him.

I didn’t plan to cut his hair. I loved Thomas’s insane, shaggy, curly hair. I loved the color, the curls, his hair was so beautiful. But what I truly loved about his hair was how well it fit his personality. The wild, unkempt mop of sunshine was so quintessentially Thomas.

If you’ve got the kind of kid who takes off all his clothes at the bus stop and then runs home wearing only the bare minimum required by law enforcement, a mane of blonde curls blowing in the wind makes sense, right?.

There were a lot of people who thought I should have cut Thomas’s hair a long time ago. Maybe you’re one of them? People would occasionally mention his hair, never in a rude way, but just casually ask about it in a way that I could tell was a polite way of asking, “Are you sure there isn’t a small family of hedgehogs living in there?” And I’d respond in an equally restrained way. Something like, “There probably is.”

But there was a much more vocal group of people who loved Thomas’s hair as much as I did. People regularly commented about it on Instagram, strangers stopped me in the park. Old friends from high school popped up on Facebook, “Never cut his hair!” they’d say. “I will never,” I wrote back. There, it’s settled.

But I always said I’d cut it if it seemed to be bothering him, or when he asked me to. And that’s what happened. He asked me to. (Ok, he asked me to over and over and over and…)

It was a slow build that I ignored the same way I ignore other responsibilities I’m shirking. Do the laundry! Eat a vegetable! Organize your closet! Yup, I’m gonna just hit the snooze button on those three right there.

That’s what I did to Thomas, when he asked me to cut his hair “Like Pops and Anna.”

But he kept asking. And I’m not proud of this, but I told all the kids the story of Samson in the Bible, whose strength was in his hair. And then I said, “What if we cut Thomas’s hair and all of his strength goes away?”

Thomas said, “Mommy that’s too silly!”

With that I put another tally mark under the category “Times Amanda’s toddlers acted more logically than their mother.”

So I went for it. Because I want to respect my kids, especially when they ask for very reasonable things. And because we all know that Thomas’s personality isn’t in his hair. Respectable Hair Thomas is just as mischievous, wily, and hilarious as  Wild-Hair Thomas.

I finished the cut and we went inside. I was sitting on the couch when Thomas walked over and took my cheeks in his hands and pressed his nose to mine. With eyebrows raised, he whispered, “Ok Mommy, when do I get to cut your hair?”


“I’ll only cut it a little bit, Mommy. Only a little bit,” he whispered back.

“NO, Thomas. You can NEVER cut Mommy’s hair, do you understand?”

“I’ll just cut it a little, Mommy. I’ll get your scissors.”

Celebrating Thomas’s half-birthday with gummy worms, Anna’s leftover cupcakes, and a haircut. 





  1. Katherine November 27, 2018

    I really think Thomas and Emmett are going to be best friends at Tech. Mark took the boys for haircuts last week (finally) and when they got back, Emmett came over to me and said, “do you even know I’m your little boy?”

    • amandakrieger November 30, 2018

      yes, they’ll make great roommates at VT. let’s go to gillie’s after moving them in and we can finally hang out, eh?

  2. Janna Lee November 28, 2018

    His hair cut is adorable. I am worried about your hair now. How hard do you sleep? Your a good , good Mama.

    • amandakrieger November 30, 2018

      no kidding! i’ve been hiding all the scissors, I don’t want to wake up with a new haircut!

  3. Gayle Ann November 28, 2018

    Some Jewish families, mostly conservative groups, do not cut the hair of a son until his third birthday.

    Did you save a lock for his baby book?

    • amandakrieger November 30, 2018

      as sentimental as I am, I’ve never saved hair or teeth. we cut his hair outside so the birds can make nests with it 🙂

      i’m glad i’m in good company! he’s 3 and a half, so late even for those groups! (though, my kids are born bald so they don’t even have hair until they’re at LEAST 2….)

      • Gayle Ann November 30, 2018

        My sister was bald, and my mother would buy the frilliest dresses, and tape a bow to her head. Her name was taken from my father’s name, and Bob became Bobbie. In part because the ultrasound had indicated a boy, and no one had even thought of a girl’s name. And, in those days, you couldn’t leave the hospital without the forms all filled out. Even with the beautiful dresses and bows, people would tell my mother what a sweet baby boy she had. She always wondered why people thought she would dress a boy in frilly dresses and a bow.


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