Have you ever heard of the fish hook?
No, not a fish hook, THE fish hook.
It’s when you hook your finger in someone’s mouth and jerk back as if they were a fish and you were a hook.
It’s one of the worst things you can do to a person, it renders them completely defenseless.
I learned about the fish hook from Tom’s brother, Steve. He’s never given me a fish hook, but he taught Tom how to do it. Once Tom tried to fish-hook me and I will tell you one thing: he’ll never do that again.
Wikipedia has a nice diagram.
This is what UrbanDictionary.com had to say about the fish hook:
1. Fish hook: While behind someone inserting your index finger into their mouth and pulling back towards the back of their head therefore catching them like a fish on a hook. Amongst other things the fish hook is illegal in the U.F.C. because it is so brutally painful.
Did you see that? It’s ILLEGAL in UFC matches. Just look at vi. under “Fouls”. Kicking someone in the face is legal in UFC, but fish-hooking, something my brother-in-law does to get a laugh, isn’t.
So why all the talk about fish-hooking?
Well, because whilst exploring the world with his new-found grip, David has started fish-hooking mommy. He puts his sweet, chubby fingers in my mouth, wraps them around my cheek and then clenches a freakishly-strong fist and PULLS. Mama just got fish-hooked.
I thought today, Steve’s birthday, would be a good day to let you know.
(I wanted to post a photo, but it’s really hard to take a picture of yourself getting fish-hooked WHILE ALSO GETTING FISH-HOOKED.)
I have a feeling it’s just a taste of a lifetime of fun things Uncle Steve will teach David through the years.
Everyone should have an uncle (brother, brother-in-law, friend) like Uncle Steve.
Happy birthday, Uncle Steve.