We don’t normally follow pro football very closely, and this year if you had told me the NFL took the whole year off I might have believed you because, well, let’s just say I’ve been a little distracted. (Except for this. I did hear about this.)
This year we watched the Super Bowl with some good friends who happen to be devoted Eagles fans, and very knowledgable about both teams. They knew everything about the season, the coaches, and each of the players’ Starbucks orders. So when I asked why that Patriots coach, what’s his name? Is wearing a cut up sweatshirt, they explained. And when I said, “I thought Chris Long was a quarterback?” No one made fun of me.
Our host asked if I’d heard of the Dutch Destroyer, and when I said no, he said, “It’s this really sad story about a little boy –” I interrupted before he could say anything else.
“STOP RIGHT THERE!” I said. “I’m very, very hormonal and I’m warning you that if you continue I will probably cry.”
He continued with an incredibly abbreviated, unsentimental version of the story. Halfway through his telling, BEFORE HE EVEN GOT TO THE SAD PART, I was crying. And then I continued to cry for about five minutes. I’m a riot at parties. Anyone want some wings!?
(You can watch the story here. I have still not watched it because this story is sad and beautiful and I can’t expose myself to that. I have things to do today.)
We left their house before halftime, so we could be home in enough time to the kids to bed, see the halftime show, and Google “How old is Justin Timberlake?” (OLDER THAN ME! WHOOP!)
Tom and I were completely amazed by the performance. Tom, apparently, had never seen Justin Timberlake dance before last Sunday, and he could not believe the human body could move like that.
Anna must have overheard our incredulity because she chose that exact moment, on the day she turned 12 weeks old, to roll over for the very first time. She one-upped Justin Timberlake.
LOOK! OH MY GOSH! MILESTONE! I shouted. Then I rolled her back to her belly to see if she’d do it again. And she did. And then she did it one more time.
TOM! MAKE HER HAPPY! TOM! GET IT TOGETHER!
Technically speaking, I now have four mobile kids, including one who’s losing teeth and learning to read, one who’s hair has a 34-step care regimen, one who thinks he’s done napping and has never worn clothes for more than three consecutive hours, and one who we’re still waiting to see how she’s going to completely dismantle our game plans and turn what we thought we knew on top of its head.
Considering all that, thanks in advance for excusing me if I have to be reminded, again, that Chris Long isn’t the one married to Jessica Biel, and his dad wasn’t the Howie who hosted Deal or No Deal. And surely you’ll understand if brief me on an ESPN special feature and I respond by crying through two straight quarters of the Super Bowl.