Naptime hostage

David has taken almost zero naps since he turned three. We still go through the motions, though, every day. After lunch we read a book, turn off the light, close the blackout shades, and I cover him with his blankets just the way he likes it — white blanket first, then green blanket. I give him a pep-talk about napping, then shut the door.

I’ve always considered myself a cynical person, but for some reason I still have hope that this will pass. One day he’ll go back to napping and I can go back to eating Cheetos without having to hide the bag.

David stays in his room, awake, for an hour or so. During that hour I take him to the potty maybe four times. He plays with toys, throws things against the door, calls for me. Tonight Tom suggested that we Google some tips, and I told him that Pinterest is full of busy boxes and quiet time ideas for toddlers. I’ve tried several things, but David has been stubborn since he the day he was born. Why would David work a Popsicle stick photo puzzle when he could instead wrap the cat up in the curtain? Why would he build with sponge blocks when he could do this: shoot cars under his door, then try to get them back with a piece of a baby tub?

I don’t know when I’ll give up on the nap. Actually, yes I do. It’ll be when he stops needing one; when he stops getting that glassy-eyed look at 1pm and, skips his nap and then morphs into his Grumpelstiltskin alter-ego at 4pm. But until that happens, we’ll remain mutual hostages, holding each other captive and raising the stakes as the clock ticks down.

In case you couldn’t quite hear what he says at the end of the video, it’s “Someone get me out.”


  1. Jessi Von Bank September 24, 2014

    This is so, so good.

  2. Courtney September 24, 2014

    hahahahaha, that video! Best thing ever. So funny, maybe not in the moment under the reality of a grumpy no napper. When Aria refused her second nap, she was just so dang grumpy by the time early evening hit. I was like you are tiredddd this is why you napppp. Kids.

  3. Meredith September 24, 2014

    Hahahaha that video is AMAZING. He is a genius, clearly. And I am right there with you on the nap-motions-every-day with varying results. Drives me crazy. As far as me giving up, I have told her “Maaaaybe when you turn 5 but we will see.” when she asks when she can stop taking a nap. 🙂 I’ve found a few strategies that work (some days) but sometimes nothing works and it’s just plain confounding. I may have mentioned before I have a sleep consultant that I’ve talked to twice now and probably will again in a few months. It’s been so nice to have her suggestions and reassurance, and to have someone to check in with for tune ups. Crazy kids. Can you IMAGINE someone putting you in a dark room, alone, and telling you not to come out for 2 hours?? It’d be like winning the lottery.

  4. Carrie September 24, 2014

    Your post made me laugh so much. We haven’t slept at naptime since 2-1/2 or so (other than random crazy days every 2 months or so), but I’m still going through the motions a year later! When they can take themselves potty it helps. I start her 1 hour long playlist of soothing music, and say that mommy needs a break and don’t leave your room until your music ends, except to go to the bathroom. I can’t exactly eat junk food openly in the living room, but everyone is ready to kill each other if we don’t get a little break!!

  5. Ashley September 25, 2014

    This is awesome!!! That video had me laughing so hard I farted. No really. I wish we were neighbors. Then we could drink diet cokes while our grumpy threenagers fight naps together!


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