31 weeks

I always dread asking for the bathroom when I’m pregnant because, suddenly, I become a cliche.

Oh! She’s pregnant! Of COURSE she needs to pee! Get this girl to the bathroom!

But, actually, I have to go to the bathroom because I’m a human. In fact, I bet you’ve used the bathroom today. Maybe even more than me; you know how bad I am at drinking enough water.

31weeks

This is the best I can do when it comes to maternity photos. David took it, and I think he did a great job capturing our reality — a little off kilter, a little hazy, and there’s Mary Virginia, always trying to figure out how to get juuuust a bit closer to Mama.

I’m 31 weeks pregnant. That’s well over half-way, but I still feel like I have a long way to go. In that remaining time, I’m trying to make an effort to limit complaints. Yes, yes, I’m already tired when I wake up in the morning and by the end of the day I’m achy. None of my clothes fit and I’m tired. I know I already said that, but it’s worth saying again. I’m exhausted. That’s my top pregnancy symptom. That and the enormous belly.

I’m trying to not complain because in the big wide world of pregnancy I feel great. I’m fine and the baby is fine with no known complications. I have nothing to complain about, not one blasted thing.

If you’ve read this blog for a while or even, say, 30 seconds the following statement won’t come as a surprise — complaining comes really naturally to me. On a spectrum of complainer to cheerful, I’m sitting squarely on the left with the other cynics, rolling my eyes at all the optimists. But just because complaining comes naturally, that doesn’t mean complaining is good or helpful. 

In the past few weeks I’ve thought a lot about what a profound privilege and blessing this pregnancy is. And more, how fleeting it is. I’ll only be pregnant with this baby once, then it will be here, then it will grow and the next thing I know it will throw a plate of pancakes on the floor because I cut them up too small or too big or because I cut them up in the first place.

I want to enjoy it, all of it –from the pregnancy to the pancakes on the floor. So that starts now, with the heaviness, the weariness, with all that comes with giving my body over to the life that is growing inside it. The whole process is a privilege.

There are days when I’m so busy I don’t notice the baby moving until at night when I’m still and the house is finally quiet. Then, I lay down and I feel him tossing and turning. The movement feels frustrated, like when you’re in coach on a long flight and you keep shifting and flailing in an effort to get comfortable and get some sleep already…in my belly.

I remember my first pregnancy (I was tired and huge back then, too) when I spent so much time with my hand on my belly, smiling and wondering at the life growing, and what the next few years would hold. I barely do that this time. Instead, I’m so quick to groan about sweeping the floor for the fifth time today, or feel irritated at the effort of lifting my toddler into a swing again. But that’s the wonderful chaos that this baby is being born into. Instead of an over-protective, unsure Mommy, this baby has four people who cannot wait to meet it.

Ever since Tom and I got married, we’ve wanted a family together. And when David doesn’t want to sit at the dinner table with Mary Virginia because she’s looking at him, I remind him, “David, we’re a family. Part of being a family is eating dinner together SO SIT DOWN, EAT YOUR SPAGHETTI, AND BE QUIET!”

When I’m lifting that toddler into the swing, I have to remind myself, we’re a family — a growing family — and this is my role in the family. I’m the mama. Yes, I’m tired and achy and grumpy, but when I look at my belly and imagine the life that will join us soon, I can’t help but think I’ve got the best gig.

 

Remember when I was pregnant with Mary Virginia?
Announcement
24 weeks
25 weeks
31 weeks

38 weeks

39 weeks
Arrival

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4 Comments

  1. Katherine A. March 10, 2015

    Him?!?! 4th to last paragraph … do we know that it’s a boy?!?!

    Because if so … IT’S A BOY!!!!!!!! Wahoo!!!!

    If that was a slip, welp, can’t wait to find out what it is … !!!

    Reply
  2. Amanda Jones March 11, 2015

    I had to jump back on your links and see the other baby belly pictures 🙂 I LOVE those shots of beautiful mommies like yourself, it is sad to me when mothers cringe at belly shots! I had a complete hysterectomy a month before my 30th birthday (way to hit the 30s!) but first the good Lord blessed me with 4 wonderful children I should have never been able to carry a single one of them (my reproductive system was that messed up). I almost miscarried my last two and I remember thinking, as much as the BIG belly and urgent bathroom needs wore me down amidst the younger siblings scattered about, I knew it was only a blip in life…. a moment I would truly miss and long to have back some day. I began to choose joy in and laugh at the moments of massive discomfort and it really made my pregnancies that much more wonderful.

    On a side note: I remember standing outside 3 closed stalls in a public restroom with a little girl in front of me waiting to go first. All I could think was ‘look kid, you can learn to hold it, I have to go NOW and I am going to pee my pants if you don’t let me cut in front’!!!!! LOL, no kidding!! I just knew she would get in the stall and take her time as all small children do! I knew I had hit rock-bottom in that moment 😉 Thankfully my mouth didn’t betray my mind and I made it into an end stall not a second too soon!

    Thank you for sharing your heart. You do sound like you are doing GREAT and agitations and complaining are a natural part of any pregnancy. Focus on the good and you will fly through.

    Blessings to you…

    Reply
  3. Courtney B March 12, 2015

    Yes, pregnancy is a privilege and a miracle! But it’s still a long 10 months (at least for me with Mia- I was overdue) and sometimes it’s just okay to express your feelings on being tired and achy! (It’s no wonder why we are pregnant for 40ish weeks, we are willing to do whatever it takes to get ’em outta our body, ha ha!) You are such a sweet, sweet momma!!

    Reply
  4. Annie June 16, 2016

    I love what you guys do Annie

    Reply

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