David has had a total of two “haircuts” in his life, but he has never had a legitimate capital-H Haircut. This summer his hair got a little long and shaggy, which we thought was cool, except that he had a very important gig as a ring bearer and I wasn’t ok with him walking down the aisle with the “Kurt Cobain in a bowtie” look.

I’ve cut his hair in the past, and I would have done it again, but I didn’t want to risk messing it up since we had a special event coming up.

I thought I prepared him really well. Before we went, we talked about what would happen, and I even drew pictures of the haircut experience.

I drew as I talked — “There will be a special chair, and you’ll sit in the chair, then they’ll wrap a blanket around you…”

He asked for detailed images, up close pictures of the scissors cutting the hair.

And that in the bottom left corner? That’s his post-haircut ice cream treat. I drew cherry on top but he asked me to erase it because “I don’t like cherries. Only Daddy likes cherries because they’re spicy.”

Ok.

Oh, and I can’t take credit for the drawing thing. I stole the idea from Daniel Tiger’s mom.

We went to what David calls the “haircut store” and had to wait a bit, which I thought was awesome. We watched other people getting their haircut, we scoped out the chairs and the stylists. I had a moment where I thought, “Is this overkill? Because David is usually totally cool and a complete professional in situations like this.”

We sat him in his chair, and he seemed to be all about it until we put the cape on him. That’s when he said, “I WANT MY BLANKETS” and then made this face for the next 10 minutes.

It was terrible. I tried songs and I showed him the cartoons on his cape. I even stuck a lollipop in his mouth and it just fell out.

He wailed and I teared up and Mary Virginia chewed on David’s rejected lollipop.

I actually took my nice camera to document the whole thing, but I couldn’t leave his side. It wasn’t that he was mad or refusing to sit…he was scared. So I squatted by him and held his hands and tried to think of something, anything that would take his mind off the stranger standing in his blind spot wielding razor blades.

And I racked my brain, WHAT WOULD DANIEL TIGER’S MOM DO IN THIS SITUATION?!?!?!!

The haircut took five minutes. All she had to do was clean up around his ears and take off his rattail. The top of his hair has still never been cut. David continued to sniffle the whole time I paid, apologized profusely, and tipped the stylist.

He was still crying when I stepped over the threshold and then, safely on the sidewalk, with crocodile tears still wet on his cheeks, he looked up at me and in a completely calm and composed voice, asked, “Mommy can we get ice cream now?”

Yes, we can get ice cream now.

We often walk by the place we got his trim, and he always says, “Is that the hair cut store, Mommy?” And when I tell him it is, he says, “I don’t like that haircut.”

It’s ok, David. It’s hard to get used to a new length. But I think he looks completely handsome.

And he looked so great in his bow tie that, I dunno, maybe the drama was worth it.

[My Instagram followers are like, “Dude this is totally old news. If you wanna follow me on Instagram, and find out about David’s haircuts in real time, you can find me at AmandaLeighVT.]

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